August 31, 2006John
Brad Rock from the Desert News has compiled a fantastic list of interesting tidbits about BYU and Utah’s football teams. I’ve copied the list below for your perusal.
Take a look at the list of items for BYU:
• Did you know BYU defensive lineman Tyler Berry’s grandfather played professional basketball for the B.F. Goodrich Tiremen? I admit, I haven’t heard of them. But it must have been tough for opposing coaches to say with a straight face: “All right, men, go home and get some sleep. Tomorrow we have a big game against the Tiremen.”
Who’s up next, the Albertson’s Shelfstockers?
• Did you know freshman defensive lineman Brett Denney was recruited by Stanford and Harvard? Smart guy. I imagine while he’s crouching down before a snap, he’s actually figuring the answer to Poincare’s Conjecture. If you don’t know what that is, stop right there. You’re not smart enough to watch him play.
• Did you know junior linebacker Rex Doman is a cousin to former BYU quarterback Brandon Doman? So all he needs to do is beat Utah on the last drive of the game, lead the team to a 12-2 season and play in the NFL and nobody will make any unfair comparisons.
• Did you know junior defensive back Kellen Fowler is the son of former BYU quarterback Blaine Fowler? But until he can recite — verbatim — the entire script of “Caddyshack” like his dad, I won’t be impressed.
• Did you know junior offensive lineman Erik Freeman is a third cousin to former BYU star Bart Oates? Oates is the guy BYU pushed for all-America by mailing out envelopes with Quaker Oats inside. Does that mean if they want to promote Freeman, they’ll have to put little American flags in the envelopes?
• Did you know senior defensive back Aaron Gordon speaks English, Samoan, Tongan, Italian and Hualapai? That should come in handy if he ever wants to curse at the coaches.
• Speaking of cursing, did you know BYU has an offensive lineman named Nick Longshore? How convenient. When he gets hurt, he can curse like a longshoreman.
• Did you know junior wide receiver Troy Sheide is the son of former BYU quarterback Gary Sheide. So ex-QB’s Fowler and Sheide have sons playing for BYU. That’s nice, but what I’m really waiting for is Jim McMahon’s kid to show up.
• Did you know BYU has a defensive back named Tico Pringle? Just saying his name makes me hungry.
And here’s the list for the Utes:
Then there are the oddities about the Utes. For instance:
• Did you know 300-pound lineman Jason Boone comes from a family of 10 children? Do you ever wonder why people stop having kids when they’re one short of a team?
• Tight end Pate Moleni comes from a family of 11 kids — so they have a full complement of players. Wanna go for a kickoff unit?
• Freshman kicker Kepa Gaison’s full name is Bart-Jonah Iokepa Gaison. Or you can call him Notorious B.I.G. for short.
• The Utes have a player named Joe Giuliani and one named Joe Jiannoni, both linebackers. Which means, I guess, we can just call that part of the field “Little Italy.”
• Quarterback Brett Ratliff’s nickname is “Ratty.” You don’t want to see his apartment.
• Jason Voss, a 6-3, 268-pound tight end, showed dairy heifers in 4-H. Word is the judges kept pinning the blue ribbon on HIM.
• And finally, defensive back Mombroso Washington participated in Operation Iraqi Freedom. Imagine that — a player who understands the game against BYU really isn’t war after all.
I’d like to thank Brad for the entertaining list. However, just look at the list of tidbits. You can tell just by the length of the lists that he is obviously a Ute fan. Cut him he bleeds red…yada…yada…yada. I see right through you Brad. Next time just come out and say that you like the Utes and think their going to do better than BYU this season. So what if a few BYU fans can’t take your comments. At least give them the satisfaction of correcting you later. You’re not paid to make up “tidbits and idiosyncrasies.” You get free tickets to the games to give us water cooler fodder.
Oh! Don’t worry, I’ll be keeping this article for later in the season. When BYU has a great season going, I’ll write you and remind you how weak you were for not pointing out the obvious fact that BYU was going to have a great season. Maybe next time you’ll stop being afraid of BYU fans that are ALWAYS right.
P.S. The Jason Voss receiving the 4-H blue ribbon still has me laughing.