Welcome to Smuggle Me

Yes, I think this was a forward from someone. I usually send whoever sent me a forward an email reprimanding them for wasting my time with what I equate to spam. Most people take it ok when I tell them that I get the same thing over and over and it’s just annoying.

Well, this one is just too funny to not post. I hope my wife reads this post.

> 1. Men ARE not mind readers.
>
> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
> You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
> We need it up, you need it down.
> You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
>
> 1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
> And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
>
> 1. crying or withdrawing to end an argument does not mean we have
> agreed to anything.
>
> 1. Ask for what you want.
> Let us be clear on this one:
> Subtle hints do not work!
> Strong hints do not work!
> Obvious hints do not work!
> Just say it!
>
> 1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
>
> 1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That’s
> what we do.
>
> 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem See a doctor.
>
> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
> In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
>
> 1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
> Don’t ask us, we will usually lie to avoid conflict.
>
> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the
> ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one, honestly, we really did.
>
> 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
> done.
> Not both.
>
> 1. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>
> 1. Whenever possible , Please say whatever you have to say during
> commercials.
>
> 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
>
> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
> Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
> We have no idea what mauve is.
>
> 1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
> We do that.
>
> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like
> nothing’s wrong.
> We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
>
> 1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer
> you don’t want to hear.
>
> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine…
> Really .
>
> 1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to
> discuss such topics as sports, guns, electronics, current economic
> conditions, politics, string theory or other topics THAT WE ARE THINKING ABOUT.
>
> 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
>
> 1. Thank you for reading this.
> Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
>
>
> But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.