Welcome to Smuggle Me

I think the image pretty much speaks for itself. One of the funniest images I’ve seen in a while. I love the relationship one.

This is one of the most hilarious videos I’ve seen. I would never have expected to find a video of John McCain endorsing Mitt Romney after the things he’s sad about Mitt Romney during the campaign. I guess it’s things like this that make my wife not want to have anything to do with politics.

Sometimes people might think it is worth blogging about crazy people. Occasionally I might be interested in blogging about crazy people myself. Some of them are quite interesting. I love crazy people. That’s why I loved visiting Italy.

However, some people we’ve known are crazy people for so long that you just can’t blog about those people. It’s not news worthy if you’ve always known they were crazy.

You might just be a Nut Job……

IF….

You have an attorney on speed dial!!

Today I was reading through Digg and I found this really crazy gift for Mother’s Day. I don’t think I’ll be sending my mom a flaming bag o poo this Mother’s Day. My mother-in-law would be funny. However, I do like the other packages they have available on the site. I guess they call it a prezzle and have a choice of gift certificates or spa packages for Mother’s Day. Pretty cool since it is sent instantly (yes, I forgot to get something for my Mother this Mother’s Day) and they can’t open it until Mother’s Day.

I hate drinking room temperature water. I absolutely have to have my water cold. So much so that I put a whole gallon jug of water in the fridge and then I drink straight from it. The colder the better.

Unfortunately at work I don’t have a way to get really cold water. I get the bottled water which adds a little bit of chill, but it’s not cold. At ThinkGeek I found a beverage cooler that uses a USB connection to your computer. You know I love USB connections on the computer. I just wonder if it will really get cool. Take a look:

I recently created a captcha for a website. They are pretty cool even though a robot can still be taught to read them.

Well, someone took the captcha to the next level. It’s called the Hot Captcha. It takes the photos from Hot or Not and creates a captcha where you have to choose 3 girls that were ranked as Hot. Otherwise, it tells you that you must not be human. Great fun.

I found a bunch of nice toilet seat humor on the internet to liven up my blogging. I hope you enjoy the good information.

1. An average person visits the toilet 2500 times a year. About 6-8 times a day.
You spend about 3 years of your life in the toilet.

2. Poor toilet condition is a worldwide problem. More than half of the world population have no proper sanitation.

3. Suppression of urination due to dirty toilets can lead to kidney and bladder diseases.
In order to avoid visting public toilets, Some people refrain from drinking and suffer dehydration.

4. Most toilets are designed incorrectly.

5. Female takes 3 times longer than male, yet both toilet sizes are often same.

6. Toilet remains as a ‘taboo’ as people are shy to discuss the subject.

7. There are toilet associations worldwide promoting toilet education and culture.

Looks like I need to start blogging on the toilet since I spend so much time there.

I always love when I come across a blog that is going to require me to read it all the time because it has some really interesting content. The Aviva Trivia Blog is one of those places. It is a well written blog with all sorts of zaney off the wall commentary. Here’s one example from their blog talking about some of the weirdest jobs in the world:

Chicken sexer: How would you like to be the one who sorts through baby chicks to determine whether they’re male or female?

Laughter therapist: Not just for comedians anymore! A laughter therapist actually teaches people to laugh-at themselves and the world- in order to better their mental health and spiritual well-being!

Hair boiler: Imagine coming home after a hard days’ work, smelling like your job as someone who boils animal hair for a living!

Vermiculturist: Ahem- worm farmer. Need anymore be said about that?

Cheese sprayer: It’s hard not to feel like the ‘Big Cheese’ when you’re in charge of the spray hose that controls spraying layers of cheese on popcorn!

Blueberry counter: You know what they say - too many blueberries spoil the pot!

Odor judgers: You’ve gotta have some sort of fetish to want to smell somebody’s funky pits for deodorant effectiveness!

Eye bank procurer: Gathering eyes and corneas for transplants and research, ya see?

Fish liver sorter: Just like it sounds- with buckets for livers of different sizes, shapes, colors and textures.

That’s some sick stuff. Some people are so weird. The even crazier thing is that I don’t think those jobs pay any more and they are completely crazy jobs.

Oh the list of facts this blog contains that we should never know, but sure is interesting to read.

A buffalo is not a buffalo. I found an article on Wikipedia that makes your head spin.

Take a look at this completely grammatically correct sentence:
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

Here’s a description about the sentence:
“Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.” is a grammatically valid sentence used as an example of how homonyms and homophones can be used to create complicated constructs. It was featured in Steven Pinker’s 1994 book The Language Instinct, but is known to have been around before February 1992 when it was posted to Linguist List by William J. Rapaport, an associate professor at the University at Buffalo.

Pretty incredible.

Here’s some other examples of this little trick:
English

* Badgers badgers badger badger badgers, by Boris Johnson in Have I Got News For You
* Dogs dogs dog dog dogs
* Who polices the police? - The police police. So, who polices the police police? Police police police police police police. (see Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?)
* A joke, in which a conductor, when asked how long will the train stay at the station, answered “From two to two to two two” (from 2 minutes to 2 O’clock, to 2 minutes past 2 O’clock). When asked the same question about a second train that will be at the station for the same period, he answered “From two to two to two two, too”.
* “I wonder whether the wether will weather the weather, or whether the wether the weather will kill” is a similar nature-related expression used to teach about homophones and syntax.
* If you have a mint after dinner, and then you have another, is the second one an after after dinner mint mint? This can be repeated to form longer and longer questions.
* “Wouldn’t the sentence ‘I want to put a hyphen between the words Fish and And and And and Chips in my Fish-And-Chips sign’ have been clearer if quotation marks had been placed before Fish, and between Fish and and, and and and And, and And and and, and and and And, and And and and, and and and Chips, as well as after Chips?” (This is also an example of the use-mention distinction.)

Had had had

The linguistic folklore has several examples involving the verb “had” They are considered to be part of professional humor of linguists and included in many English language primers for foreigners for adding some amusement to the tedious work of language learning.

* The last boss she had had had had enough of her.
* John, where Bill had had ‘had’, had had ‘had had’. ‘Had had’ had had the teacher’s approval.
* Tom, when playing a game of scrabble against Dick who, whilst pondering the degree of legitimacy the last word that Harry (who had had ‘had’) had had had had, had had ‘had’, had had ‘had’. Had ‘had’ had more letters, he would have played it again.

Other languages
Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma?
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Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma?

* In Balkan Slavic:

* In Bosnian, the sentence “Gore gore gore gore” (”Горе горе горе горе”), means “up there the hills are burning worse” (however, the words have different accents).
* In Croatian, the sentence “Gore gore gore gore” means “up there the hills are burning worse” (however, the words have different accents).
* In Serbian, the sentence “Горе горе горе горе” (Gore gore gore gore), means “up there the forests are burning worse” (however, the words have different accents).

* In Catalan, “Cap cap cap” means “no head enters”. A longer form is “En cap cap cap el que cap en aquest cap” that means “in no head enters what enters in this head”.
* In Chinese:

* in Cantonese, the phrase “gò go gó gò gòu gwó gò go gó gò” (in Yale romanization) means “That older brother is taller than that older brother”.
* In Mandarin Chinese, “Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma” means “Does Mother scold horses or do horses scold Mother?” However, Mandarin is a tonal language, so the words above are not true homophones. This sentence is used as an exercise to show the contrastive nature of Chinese tones and practice their correct realizations. A similar example is the poem Lion-Eating Poet in the Stone Den, in which shi is repeated with varying intonations.

* In Dutch, “Als In Bergen, bergen bergen bergen bergen bergen bergen bergen bergen bergen bergen.” Roughly meaning: “If in Bergen, heaps of mountains salvage heaps of mountains, then heaps of mountains salvage heaps of mountains”.
* In Filipino the interrogative sentence “Bababa ba?”, which is translated to English as “(is someone) Going down?”, is used when a driver asks his passengers if they intend to go out of the vehicle. An extension is the following exchange in an elevator: “Baba, bababa ba?” “Bababa.” “Ba, bababa!” which means: “Baba (proper name), (is this elevator) going down?” “(Yes, it is) going down.” “Oh! (amazed) So it’s going down!”)
* In Finnish, “Kokoa kokko kokoon. Koko kokkoko? Koko kokko.” means “Build a bonfire. Whole bonfire? Whole bonfire.” Another sentence is “Piilevät piilevät piileviä piileviä piilevissä piilevissä”[citation needed]. Also, “Tuu kattoon kattoon kun kärpänen tapettiin tapettiin” (dialectal), meaning “Come to the ceiling to take a look at a fly that was killed on the wallpaper”. “Etsivät etsivät etsivät etsivät etsivät”, meaning “Investigators search for investigators that search for investigators”.
* In French : “Si ton tonton tond ton tonton, ton tonton tondu sera.” Which gives literally: If your uncle shaves your uncle, your uncle shaved will be.
o Also in French: “Si six scies scient six cyprès, six cents scies scient six cents cyprès.” Which translates to: “If six saws saw six cypress trees, six hundred saws saw six hundred cypress trees.” (Si, six, scies, scient, and the first syllable of cyprès are all pronounced more or less the same in French - similar to the English “see”.)
* In German, “Wenn hinter Fliegen Fliegen fliegen, fliegen Fliegen Fliegen nach” means “If flies fly after flies, flies fly behind flies.”

* In Swiss German, “Da da da? Da da da. Da da da da!”. A conversation between two women from Schleitheim on a train discussing whether a toddler is allowed to lick the windowpane: “He’s allowed to do that?” “He can do that.” “That you let him do that!”. (In German: “Darf das [Kind] das [tun]?” “Das [Kind] darf das [tun].” “Daß das [Kind] das [tun] darf!”)

* In Hebrew, אשה נעלה נעלה נעלה נעלה את הדלת בפני בעלה (Isha na’ala na’ala na’ala na’ala et hadelet bifnei ba’ala) means “A respectable woman put on her shoe, locked the door in front of her husband”. ‘נעל’ (na’al) means ‘put on (footwear)’ and hence also ’shoe’, but also means ‘lock’. ‘עלה’ (’alah’) means ‘raise’, from which the niphal ‘נעלה’ means ‘exalted’ or ‘noble’.
* In Hungarian Bölény bölény bölény bölény bölény bölény bölény bölény is roughly counting bison in an old folk legend, as sung by gradeschoolers in the playground.
* In Irish Tá leis-leis leis leis leis leis. A subidiary [leis-] thigh [leis] of its/his [leis i.e with him, belonging to him] has been stripped [tá ... leis] by him [leis] also [leis]. There are two people or animals being referred to.
* In Japanese, “Uraniwa niwa niwa niwa niwa niwa niwatori ga iru.” (There are two chickens in the back yard and two in the front yard.) is a well-known tongue-twister.

* In a Korean dialect, “Gaga gaga ga ga?” means “Is that person (first gaga) Ga family’s (second gaga) member (first ga) ? (last ga indicates it is a question)”.
* In Latin, “Malo malo malo malo” means “I’d rather be in an apple tree than a bad man in adversity.” In “Latin …For Dummies”, a similarly constructed sentence is found, though not of homonyms, but is very close and is made more difficult by the non-use of spaces between words in early Latin texts: Miminumiumnibiumminimimuniumnimiumbunimuniminumimminuibibiminimumbolunt; which tranlates to “The tiny mimes of the snow spirits in no way wish, while they are alive, the tremendous task of [serving] the wine of the defenses to be diminished.”
* In Malay lovers can say “Sayang, sayang, sayang sayang sayang. Sayang sayang sayang?”, which translates to “Darling, I love you. Do you love me?”. This is a true homophone as the same word is used for pronoun and verb. The person being asked can even reply “Sayang”, or “Sayang sayang sayang”, in return.
* In Norwegian, the sentence “Avstanden mellom Ole og og og og og Kari har økt”, meaning roughly “The distance between Ole and ‘and’ and ‘and’ and Kari has been increased.”, could be uttered to explain that three words on a sign (”Kari og Ole”) have been moved further away from each other.
* In Papiamento, “No ta Tatata ta tata di Tatata, sino ta tata di Tatata su tata ta tata di Tatata”. Rougly meaning: “It’s not Tatata who’s the father of Tatata, but the father of Tatata’s father is the father of Tatata.”
* In Persian, the word جعفر in “جعفري ديدم كه بر جعفر سوار، جعفري مي خورد و از جعفر گذشت” has four different meanings. It’s pronounced as “Jaffar” and is used to mean 1. name of a person, 2. an animal, 3. some kind of vegetable 4. a location…so it says, “I saw a jaffar, riding a jaffar, eating jaffar, passing jaffar” and in Farsi it rhymes.
* In Russian, a well-known brainteaser is the task to fragment the following sequence into words to make a meaningful text: “kolokolokolokola” (Answer: “kol okolo kolokola”, meaning “the stake (is) near the bell”, or “kolokol okolo kola”, meaning “the bell (is) near the stake”, or “kol, o, kol okolo kola”, meaning “The stake, oh, the stake near (another) stake”)
* In Spanish - “¿Cómo cómo como? ¡Como como como!” means ¿Qué quieres decir con ‘cómo me alimento’? ¡Yo como como yo como! or “What do you mean ‘how do I eat’? I eat how I eat!”, provided the correct emphasis on each como.
* In Spanish - “¡Papá! Papa pa Papa, papá.” means “Dad! This potato is for the Pope, father.” The pa is used as a short form of para (for/to).
* A short story by Robert Sheckley Shall We Have a Little Talk? (a 1965 Nebula Award for Best Novelette) describes a planet where language mutates so fast that an Earthman colonizer cannot catch up with it: the yesterday’s version he learned overnight hypnopaedically, tomorrow is no longer in use. The Earthman accepted his defeat when he was addressed thusly: Mun mun-mun-mun. Mun mun mun; mun mun mun; mun mun. Mun, mun mun mun–mun mun mun. Mun-mun? Mun mun mun mun!.
* In Swedish, Norwegian and Danish, “Far, får får får? Får får lamm!” which translates to “Daddy, do sheep give birth to sheep? (No,) sheep give birth to lambs!” Extended variant is: “Får får får? Nej, får får ej får för får får lamm.”
* In colloquial Swedish, “Nallar nallar nallars nallar?” which translates to “Do teddy bears steal (other) teddy bears’ teddy bears?”
* Tamil, in the 12th couplet of the Thirukkural, it says, “Thuppaarkkuth thuppaaya thuppaakkith thuppaarkkuth thuppaaya thuuvum mazhai”. Roughly translated into English as “The rain begets the food we eat; And forms a food and drink concrete”. Many such couplets (with homophones) are found in this literary work.
* In Thai, “Mai mai mai mai, mai.” While, due to the tonal nature of the Thai language, each “mai” is pronounced differently, this is a complete sentence. The translation is something like, “New wood doesn’t burn, does it?” The canonical answer is “Mai mai mai mai,” again intoning each mai differently, which means “New wood doesn’t burn.” Word for word, the question is translated “Wood new not burn ” and the reply is “Wood new not burn.”
* In Turkish, “‘Müdür müdür müdür’ müdür?” means “‘Is the manager [really] the manager?’, is that the question we are discussing?”. Also in Turkish, “Yüzeyden yüze yüze, yüz yüze yüzleşmiş yüz yüzü yüz.” means “Skin hundred faces that are facing each other as you are swimming above the water.”

* In Broad Scots Doric dialect (Scotland), ” Fit fit fits fit fit?” can be more easily understood if you imagine a Buckie fisherman in a shoe shop looking in a puzzled manner at a pair of shoes and asking: “What foot fits what foot?” i.e. “Which shoe fits which foot?”